for Interracial Couples
Our identities have significant impacts on the ways we experience the world, how we choose to behave in it, and what we expect from it. They are highly relevant in our relationships and when we don’t treat them as such it’s only natural to feel misunderstood and disconnected, or for defensiveness and hostility to brew. Maybe you are experiencing one of these raw moments in your relationship. Or perhaps you want to do the work of honoring and intentionally preparing for these dynamics.
I believe the relationships we choose are opportunities to practice new behaviors and values that weren't available to us in previous relationships.
While you may worry that differences, disagreement, misunderstanding, or insecurity in relationships signals failure, with the right skills we can use these moments to foster deeper connection and fulfillment.
I help couples:
Overcome cycles of conflict
Learn to self soothe and co-regulate
Develop a deep understanding of the past experiences that shape your communication patterns
Get more comfortable with intimacy and vulnerability
Develop a shared framework for discussing difficult topics
Negotiate different perspectives on childrearing
Navigate different family cultures and dynamics
Cope with judgement and criticism from friends, family members, and strangers
Discuss internalized racism and white supremacy
What are sessions like?
The first few sessions are focused on getting to know each other better and identifying goals for our work. We’ll discuss the main issues you are experiencing, your hopes, your satisfaction with your life and relationships as is, and the major milestones and main players in your relationship history. I’ll also probably share a number of educational resources with you to supplement our work in session and help you translate new skills into your every day life.
After our initial session, I will meet with each of you individually to learn more about your personal history, concerns, and goals.
When we begin, there may also be things in your life or your relationship that need immediate attention. We will address those things so that you can focus on your larger goals as our work continues. And, of course, crises may arise throughout our work, and we will also respond to those as they arise.
Finding our stride:
Each session we will decide the focus for our time together. You can of course give me a quick rundown of what's been happening in your life more broadly, but the more we can focus the more effective our work will be.
During sessions, I use a holistic approach which integrates:
Somatic Resourcing: I’ll teach you how to track and understand what’s happening in your body. We do this through breath, posture, movement, body sensation, nervous system education, and more. You'll learn how to self-regulate and co-regulate when communication is hindered and you are overwhelmed.
Self-Leadership: One of the models I use in my work is called Parts Work. Essentially, this model creates space for our multiplicity: many of us already speak about ourselves in parts (e.g. a part of me feels this way…a part of me feels that way…). This model can be helpful for couples to see their partner as a complex person with a complex inner world; many couples report feeling like they "take things less personally" as a result of this framework.
Depth Work: Exploring the roots of what you’re struggling with is critical to sustainable transformation. This includes processing your early life experiences, family of origin, past relationships, and more. This may also include trauma processing, depending on your experiences and desires to do that sort of work.
Connection: You’re here because you want to build the relationships you’ve always dreamed of. We will find ways for you to feel more connected and secure.
I leave the decision to end our work together up to you. Some people prefer to wrap up once our initially identified goals have been accomplished. Others choose to set new goals or continue simply for the support.
If you're unsure I'm always happy to provide you with my perspective on whether therapy or coaching could continue to be a resource for you, and if so brainstorm with you what that could look like.
Just because we decide to stop meeting doesn't mean we have to say goodbye forever or that I can't be a resource for you. I always welcome old clients back for check-ins or longer-term work, and clients are of course welcome to participate in my workshops and other offerings.
How much do sessions cost?
Sessions are $260 (75-minute sessions).
How frequent are sessions?
Sessions take place weekly at first, and when appropriate we can reduce to every-other-week depending on your needs, goals, and interests.
How is coaching different from therapy?
Coaching is not psychotherapy and is best suited for those who are relatively resourced, and not in high conflict or crisis. If your relationship is causing severe distress or conflict I recommend finding a psychotherapist licensed in your state. If you live in Michigan you can consider my therapy services. But if you are relatively stable and desiring deeper connection, coaching could be a good fit. Schedule a free consultation and let's talk.
How long do people usually work with you?
I will have a better idea of how long you might expect to work on your initial goals after a few sessions. Together, we can identify the theme and scope of your care.
Where do we meet?
I provide both in-person and virtual services. I'm based in Ypsilanti, MI, and if you are nearby you are more than welcome in my office.