Making friends as an adult is hard.
For one, there’s the logistics.
Getting out of your bubble is inconvenient when you’re bogged down by work, parenting responsibilities, and chores (will the dishes ever end?!).
And there aren’t as many built-in opportunities to regularly meet people. (Kids don’t know how easy they have it with school extra curricular activities!)
And then. . . there’s the whole thing of having to put yourself out there and all the emotions that brings up.
You’re afraid of getting hurt.
You worry about whether people will like you and accept you. You worry you won’t say the right things or you’ll say the wrong things. You worry you aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, cool enough, or enough in general.
You’re constantly bracing for awkwardness and rejection.
And when you add being mixed into the picture, navigating social situations can feel even more fraught.
As a mixed person, you might feel like you’re always straddling worlds, never quite sure where to land.
You worry about how if people will find you authentic, or doubt your experience of race and racism. You dread the questions people always seem to ask about your identity.
You’ve suffered experience after experience of being misunderstood, rejected, and micro aggressed, even from family members. You’re eager for a sense of belonging, but because you might not have had it before it’s hard to imagine and it’s hard to know how to get there.
So even when you do put yourself out there, when something stirs up anxiety you’re quick to retreat.
You keep waiting to not feel anxious to make friends. But this is keeping you stuck. You need to take a different approach.
You need to feel more confident about your ability to navigate embarrassment, racial imposter syndrome, and shame so that they don't hijack your attempts to make friends.
Anxiety is an important emotion; it always intends to keep us safe. But when anxiety is always in the driver's seat when we’re trying to make friends, we cut ourselves off from actually creating the lives we want.
You deserve to have the kind of friendships and community you’ve always dreamed of.
I can help you have a different relationship with your anxiety and learn to trust yourself more.
In Somatic Skills for Social Anxiety 101, you’ll learn how to move with your anxiety, rather than avoid it, so that you can finally find your people.
"Raina is an incredible teacher who presents and engages with material in a really genuine way that in and of itself adds to the invitation of learning and experiencing as a participant. There was a really great balance of reflection, experimenting, and learning all woven together in a way that connected practice and theory. I really enjoyed exercises throughout the training and the range of options of how to do the exercises in an accessible way."
- Past community course participant
In this 2 hour workshop you’ll learn basic skills to help you:
1 / Make sense of what’s happening.
Recognize when your anxiety is taking over and understand why. Build a map of what anxiety looks like and feels like for you.
2 / Feel less overwhelmed and held back by your insecurities.
Learn how to separate yourself from your anxiety. Start to see it as just one part of you.
3 / Get better at soothing yourself.
Stop feeling like you can't do anything because of your anxiety. Identify solid coping strategies for when you feel anxious or triggered.
4 / Recover from challenges and persist.
Keep it pushin' through the uncomfortable moments so that you can also experience the joy of connecting with the right people.
5 / Enjoy making connections.
Make space for play, fun, and adventure!
You'll also get a copy of my PIER E-Guide, a step-by-step process for managing big feelings.
This workshop is for anyone who wants to learn how to cope with social anxiety when making new friends.
Please note that while I am a therapist, I’m not your therapist. This class is not a substitute for therapy and I will not be able to attend to the individual emotional needs of participants.
If you worry you may be triggered or become emotionally overwhelmed I would recommend that you either (1) do not participate, or (2) you have a clear plan for participation such as watching with a friend or scheduling a therapy session following the event.
"Raina's workshops are loaded with great information. There was a helpful balance of theory/info/frameworks and more practical examples. We were invited to participate but could also hang back and just take it in, no pressure. I appreciate the welcoming feel, pacing, flow, and ability to revisit the recording later. Overall, a flexible, engaging, and educational experience."
- Past community course participant
Hi, I'm Raina.
I’m a Mixed (Black + white), Queer (she/her) somatic trauma therapist, yoga teacher, and speaker/facilitator on Anishaanabe land (Ypsilanti, Michigan, USA) specializing in racial identity, trauma and relationships.
I help mixed people and interracial couples people uncover who they are underneath their trauma so they can build healthy and satisfying relationships.